Adult Attention Deficit Disorder: We're All Going Madd! Ritalin: The Rest Of The Story

Not satisfied with the chemical capture of the minds of our children, the big name pharmaceutical giant Novartis (formerly Ciba Geigy) wants to capture the rest of us with its broad-spectrum mindbender - Ritalin. In the past, I've told you how Ritalin is taking over the youth of the nation. But why would any self-respecting pharmaceutical company stop there when there are so many more of us to profit from? No, they want us all on the stuff - and fast.

What Novartis has done is diabolically clever. They have set up a new disease disorder for which they are the only provider of 'effective' treatment - Ritalin. This propaganda conspiracy, created primarily by the wizards and warlocks of the psychiatric profession with no scientific basis whatsoever, will make billions for Novartis and their kennel of propagandists, known as the American Psychiatric Association.

Psychiatrists will eagerly embrace this new disease. They will, in fact, promote it with learned articles in the American Journal of Psychiatry, the Journal of the American Medical Association, and Playboy (the 'journal' setting the standard for anyone looking to play doctor). Soon, Ritalin will be THE treatment for all of your neuroses and shortcomings, enabling you to sweep all those anxiolytics, antidepressants, mood elevators and anti-klepto drugs out of the medicine cabinet and into the rubbish bin.

Bet you didn't even know you had it...
According to the 'experts', we're facing a massive epidemic: 'Contrary to popular belief, ADD (attention deficit disorder) does not go away at the end of childhood or adolescence. In at least two-thirds of the cases, the symptoms may be as severe at age 45 as they were at age 5 or 10. The difference is that classical 'hyperactivity' seen in most attention deficit disorder (ADD) children becomes less prominent, but severe impulsivity and inattentiveness often continues into adulthood, frequently getting worse, impacting relationships and functioning at work and at home.' What a brilliant discovery. Those little squirrels all turn into adult squirrels - and they all desperately need vitamin R, before the nation goes down in ruin.

Pretty slick, eh?
Check out some of the most common symptoms clinicians are being urged to look for:

• A quick temper
• Forgetfulness
• Restlessness
• A headstrong 'uncooperative' nature; determination to 'do things your own way'
• Frequent failure to read or complete materials given to you for review
• Projection of blame onto others
• Impatience

Since everyone fits the diagnosis, one way or another, it is apparent that everyone has adult attention deficit disorder, called adult attention deficit disorder (AADD).

Let's call a spade a spade: these people aren't attention deficit disorder (ADD), they're MADD. I hereby advise a name change, as this epidemic clearly deserves a more 'proactive' moniker, one that will boost recognition (and Ritalin sales) and reassure the public. Henceforth, it will have a true acronym as a name: maturity attention deficit disorder or MADD. (Now don't be a smarty pants and tell me that the US Mothers Against Drunk Driving Organisation uses this one. NEA stands for National Education Association and also National Endowment for the Arts. I don't hear them fighting.)

Thank God for Ritalin, which will enable us - aunts, cousins, siblings, uncles - ALL OF US, to muddle through with MADD.

The method behind the MADDness
Of course, the articles issuing the decree that the adult population is being overrun with attention deficit disorder (ADD) never come right out and mention Novartis or the drug they are trying to fit into a new 'disease'. That would be crass commercialism, and no ethical drug company, such as your friends at Novartis, would want to be involved in something unethical, right?

But the research papers are little more than promotions for Ritalin disguised as attempts to educate medical professionals and the general public. One of the most convincing reports waxes clinical: 'attention deficit disorder (ADD) is still a condition few clinicians have been trained to recognise in adults. Most adults with attention deficit disorder (ADD) were mistakenly given various 'labels': Some adults with attention deficit disorder (ADD) were termed Antisocial, while others with untreated attention deficit disorder (ADD) were given the label 'Substance Abusers'. Others were termed as dealing with Bipolar Disorder, Atypical Depression, or Personality Disorder.'

Can you imagine, all those thousands of ignorant doctors misdiagnosing at least five neuroses for all these years? Novartis knew all along what these people needed: vitamin R. The 'various labels', described above, can now be dropped. Everyone has RDD - ritalin deficiency disorder - not ADD or adult attention deficit disorder (AADD). And RDD leads to MADD. I know this is a little scientific, but you'll figure it out.

Actions to take:
You're probably upset from reading this and think you need Ritalin. Think again. Try a cup of warm tea instead while you consider that Ritalin can cause any or all of the following: psychosis, hostility, zombie-like behaviour, hallucinations, hair loss, bed-wetting, convulsions, heart attack, and death. No one needs to put him or herself at risk for potential dangers like those just to treat an imaginary condition.

If the tea doesn't work and you're still worried, go online and search for 'adult ADD questionnaires'. Here's a hint: If you can read through and answer the entire questionnaire - most of them are between two and four pages long - I doubt you have a problem with your attention span!

References:
Clark, Corydon, M.D. 'Our Expanding ADD Knowledge.' www.addult.org
Breggin, Peter, M.D. Talking Back to Ritalin. Monroe, Maine: Common Courage, 1998