Remedies for Grief: How to avoid ill health while coping with grief

I'll be honest, I grappled with how to begin this e-alert - and how to end it. Grief is something that all of us experience at some time in our lives. Its always there, whether we address it directly or not.  In light of the tragic events throughout London last Thursday morning, it seems even more appropriate that we address grief in todays e-alert.

The loss of a loved one, the end of a marriage or relationship, death of a pet or being a victim of crime can cause grief.  Everyone deals with this natural emotion in their own way and in their own time.

When we think about the impact that grief has on us, we can't overlook the serious physical implications it brings.

Easier said than done
On the evening of Saturday, November 28, 1942, a fire broke out and spread quickly through a popular Boston nightclub in the US, called the Coconut Grove. Almost 500 people perished in the devastating blaze, and it took every fire-fighter and policeman in the city to deal with the destruction and its aftermath.

This event produced one of the first and most influential clinical studies on loss and acute grief. For several months, Dr Erich Lindemann, a Boston psychiatrist, interviewed survivors and bereaved relatives of the Coconut Grove fire. His report appeared in the 'American Journal of Psychiatry' in September, 1944, and included this passage:

'The picture shown by people with acute grief is remarkably uniform. Common to all is the following syndrome: sensations of somatic distress occurring in waves lasting from 20 minutes to an hour at a time, feelings of tightness in the throat, choking with shortness of breath, need for sighing, and an empty feeling in the abdomen, lack of muscular power, and intensive subjective distress described as tension or pain.'

Dr. Lindemann clearly understood that grieving carries both an emotional and a physical response. Later studies have come to recognise some of the most common physical reactions associated with grief, such as: listlessness, fatigue, weight loss, irritability, insomnia, loss of appetite, and gastrointestinal complications. On the surface, these may seem like temporary conditions that will disappear as the grieving process runs its course. However, all of them can lead to more serious illnesses.

And while it's really the best thing we could do for ourselves, there's something almost impertinent about suggesting to someone who is grieving to be sure to stay active, get plenty of rest and maintain a nutritious diet.

What you need, when you need it
As Sigmund Freud pointed out in a 1917 essay titled 'Mourning and Melancholia' '...after a lapse of time it (grief) will be overcome, and we look upon any interference with it as inadvisable or even harmful.'

But until grief is overcome, it's critical that we do whatever we can to limit the long-term impact of grief. Granted, this advice may be better directed to family and friends of those who are experiencing grief. So, if someone you care about is grieving, rest assured that you can help.

In terms of specific nutrients, those experiencing grief will benefit from any source that provides high levels of B vitamins - which can be helpful in times of depression and stress, but are also often depleted during those times. In addition to supplements, good dietary sources of vitamin B are: tuna, salmon, avocados, bananas, mangoes, potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, poultry and meat.

It is also a good idea to stock up on vitamin C to help the body fend off illness and reduce the effects of toxins on the body.

A grieving person may also benefit from additional magnesium in their diet, available through whole grains, nuts and leafy green vegetables.

Dealing with grief can leave a person feeling drained so it is important that they get enough sleep. 

To help them manage the psychological impact, there are common herbs like valerian root, camomile, black cohosh, rosemary, and St. John's wort that can help control the emotional roller coaster. Herbal teas such as red clover, peppermint, lemon verbena, lemon balm and passion flower all help to calm and soothe. All of these herbs are available at good health food shops.

Some people find it helpful to start new hobbies and make new friends so that they have something to look forward to.

There's no cure for grief, obviously, but there are ways to address, and even avoid, its physical side effects, until the moment comes when we turn the corner and are ready to embrace life again.

If you feel like you need some support in coping with grief you may wish to speak to a trained professional at the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy at:

www.bacp.co.uk